Pain is part of life; we accept that as a general statement – but how we wear our pain in the aftermath of it’s occurrence greatly determines who we become and how resilient we are to future pain. Whether we experience physical pain from a disease or an unfortunate set of circumstances that lead to a harmful accident Or the plethora of emotional pain which accompanies interacting with loved ones, friends or strangers that often leaves an invisible scar.
Pain and its sometimes unhelpful aftermath ‘regret’ is within us and within everyone you will ever meet for the rest of our lives.
While most of us stroll though life with a somewhat understanding that its not entirely healthy to constantly talk about and or re-live a past pain we see countless examples of people that recount the exact experience that lead us to talk about an apparent ugly side of life. Rightly so we can argue, if for example, a dear friends doesn’t repay a $ debt to us – it will make us less tolerant of giving others the same trust in the future. It hardens our resolve to not trust moving forward and if we combine that with a week of watching the nightly news, we can easily suspend our thoughts of goodness, kindness and love in everyone we meet or in the world at large. However the wise souls among us realise that everyone we meet is also going through their own turmoil in one respect or another and may not know how their turmoil spills over into others’ lives. Like Brad Meltzer -American political thriller novelist once said –‘Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always’.
Continued mistrust of our own intuition and others’ intention after a pain has left its mark is a form of venom that circulates in our veins long after initial pain has left it mark.
How we feel about people who wrong us, our loved ones Or the world at large can change who we are BUT if we choose – its also a place where we can also find pains’ opposite – love. The two worlds, although seemingly galaxies apart are actually interconnected. Wise souls start to understand that instead of focusing on the pain itself we start to become appreciative with how the aftermath of healing makes us feel – and who we become after our apparent downfall. Usually the aftermath of pain is a trail back to self-understanding, kindness, self-love and an appreciation for connecting and healing in everyone we meet. Pain and love are connectors to vulnerability – and vulnerability is the key to connecting with others’ pain and self-love with the absence of ego. See James Baldwin’s quote below that sums it up;
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”
― James Baldwin American novelist and social critic.
When we acknowledge our pain and discover it always leads us into greater understandings of who we are, we can – if we choose – decide the pain is not a defining factor of becoming less tolerant or trusting of other people or life itself, but leads us into greater depths of appreciation in our own journeys and how others’ journeys can impact our own through a sea of pain, love, appreciation and beauty.
No one ever dies from a snake bite. Its the venom that we let circulate in our veins long after the bite, that eventually takes its toll.