The Wake is a truly mesmerising and rhythmic occurrence to watch when standing on the hull of a moving vessel. The water that’s being moved around by the boat’s propeller at almost violent speeds causing white-wash is by all accounts additive to continually watch.
The Wake though, as amazing and almost rhythmically artistic as it is to watch, doesn’t drive the boat. The engine and propeller drive the boat with the Wake being the aftermath of its interaction with the water. It can be said that as we move through life, all of us leave a Wake in the water that is our past. It’s a trail we look back on and see the experiences we’ve lived, the actions we’ve taken and our reaction on how they’ve come to pass.
I came to experience the harsh realisation first hand in one of my talks and to the person who was crying out through the painful scenario she was detailing in front of my audience.
Heres a depiction of what went down with ‘Rosie’;
“Barry, chasing down your fondest dreams is just Bull*#%@.
Last week my husband of 15 years left me with our 3 children. We have 4 mortgages, high credit card debts, children who don’t understand what’s just happened and I’ve just taken my 3rd job to make ends meet. When I was 20 my dream (as well as have my family) was to learn the Violin and play in Vienna. Im taking this impending divorce as a sign to finally give up on my dreams. I wasn’t meant to play the Violin and will never put my own desires above that of my family and my commitments to my children”. So there it is, done.
Rosie’s dream was to become a world class violin player. I learned later that after she became pregnant with her first child, learning to play her favourite musical instrument seemed almost absurd to her in comparison to the obligations that commanded her attention from starting a family. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years and Rosie still had not began to pursue the violin – looking at it as an almost selfish pursuit. Her role as she saw it was to give 100% of herself to her family as a mother and wife. Its very common for women in particular to find themselves catering to everyone else’s desires, whims and obligations while putting themselves last. I see it everyday.
For Rosie, we did a quick exercise to see if being a violinist was still possible for her. I knew it was, but I needed her to believe it was also. After a long chat, Rosie came on board as a selected coaching client and we conducted an exercise that gave have her an extra 6 weeks worth of 8 hour days per year. 6 WEEKS! Thats 48 (8 hour days) added to her dream chasing calendar per year! She couldn’t believe it! So, she purchased a used violin which not only enabled her to begin her dream, but as she put it, soothed her soul for the hardships divorce had brought her.
Rosie isn’t giving up on her dreams to playing in Vienna. She won’t stop until she gets there.
Remember the Wake we mentioned earlier? Despite the violent turning of the boats propeller in moving forward, the Wake NEVER drives the boat. Your past trail does not dictate your future. It’s the trail that’s left behind in the water as proof of our movement through life and our brief existence here on Earth,
We may focus on the Wake for a while or even become awe-struck at its beauty, but it can NEVER steer you into better waters.
If you want to cross into better waters, you have to look ahead for that breathtaking sunrise you’re about to miss out on and point your vessel in the direction of new uncharted waters to see your new desired chapters unfold.
Always remember to Live YOUR life.