A Personal Story – Barry Nicolaou
Undertaking a Shift in practice will have many facets to its impact. For me personally, I have found myself reflecting upon my past and in particular my male role models or lack thereof.
My father and I have a civil but turbulent relationship. His larger than life persona, his entrepreneurial spirit and his inability to work for others who didn’t share his enthusiastic opportunistic love for deals in business were infatuating and alluring as a young boy. In my eyes he was different, a man that didn’t follow the rules or status quo, a man who wanted with all his heart, to separate himself from mediocrity and play by his own rules. Albeit in hindsight, without a great deal of structure, morals or care for others around him.
After turning 7 years old I could tell things were changing in our household. Mum and Dad would argue and quietly close our bedroom doors so my 4-year-old brother and I wouldn’t hear. This, of course, made my brother and I listen more intently to the language and tones that were making their way through the cheap plywood doors. Things got worse as accusations flew. Mum would find proof of dad’s gambling addiction with ripped up gambling tickets on the ground floor of our unit block beside the letterboxes. Not knowing whether if they belonged to him, mum would quiz him and despite knowing better, gained an eventual confession.
As time went on, the lying from Dad became more elaborate and the falsehoods were about inconsequential things. Things that didn’t matter. Stories would be embellished so they would have a greater impact, and happenstances were exaggerated for broad appeal.
So with two boys aged 7 and 4 mum filed for divorce and soon after boarded a plane to her home of Cyprus in the Mediterranean. The Greek community in Australia was relentless in their opinion on divorce, so with the little money she had, she headed abroad to escape and clear her mind on what the future now held. Mum didn’t know it, but a Shift was taking place in all our lives.
My brother and I didn’t really understand the exact gravity of what was going on. To us, it was a strange holiday without a dad. But looking back, a Shift had taken place in mum’s life in particular. It was a knowing for her, a certainty in understanding she didn’t want her boys being exposed, aligned or influenced by a man that despite his good traits, wasn’t a good moral compass or role model.
Things changed a great deal after the divorce. The pain however in my 7-year-old heart never fully recovered for 10 years. After coming back to Australia from our holiday, and seeing my father every second weekend, reaffirmed that my mum had made the wrong choice. So I rebelled. I rebelled hard.
I gave mum such a hard time for leaving him and never forgave her for taking away the one man who brought me so much joy, never grasping with my limited knowledge how hard it must have been for her to rip the man she married out of her boy’s lives for what was seen through her eyes as, the greater good. What on earth did a 7year old know about the greater good? Nothing. I just missed my Dad.
The Shift for me happened in my late teens where after years of denial, I went and worked for my ‘millionaire’ father and experienced what mum experienced. I saw shortcuts, anger, denial, and lies under the proviso of being successful.
Mum was trying to save me from my own Shift, from watching her own. But life doesn’t always work in that way – life needed me to experience my Dad and have a Shift. It was simultaneously a Shift that hurt me and exposed a path of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to write about.
More often than not, life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. The Shift is the tool life uses to get us to absorb a higher wisdom and understanding on our true path and new decisions that have the ability to shape our future we’re proud to live.